letup, may or may not be, important.

As I patiently, stressfully and  excitedly approach and prepare for what I expect to be the most demanding semester that I have encountered as of yet, I wonder whether or not this blog will service  myself in the ways in which I originally planned.

Upon creating this blog, I suspected that as I hightail it through the minefield that is this coming semester, I will need some sort of break in the action –  a change up pitch, in contrast to the flurry of fastballs that I will at least attempt to smack foul, in a desperate attempt to keep myself in play. I am interested to see if this blog will became a fruitless, tiresome task, or if it will provide as a useful and healthy mental escape – a letup. Here’s to hoping it’s the latter, and here’s to wishing an incredible fall semester to all of my fellow students and friends whose next few months will be similar to those of my own.

Inspiration is important.

Over the past few months, I seem to have imagined an “ideal” scenario. A scenario in which, in a couple of years, I would find myself  living in a metropolis, gaining some sort of education in architecture. Whether it be in grad school, or in the workplace, I’d like to hope that I’ll still be learning in a couple of years. So, I guess you could say that right now I’m learning, to make sure that I’ll still be learning, in my near (and hopefully distant, as well) future.

At times, I find it hard to sit down and focus on something that might benefit me in an educational way. I’m not unique in this aspect, as it happens to most everyone I know (and I’m envious of those it doesn’t). With all the distractions amongst us, diving into a book, or engaging in something which stimulates our creativity are not usually the most enticing of options. However, it seems that this all just becomes a situation which results from a lack of motivation, or in other words, laziness.

So I guess that’s what I’ve come to write about – a source of motivation for myself, which is, inspiration. Inspiration, as motivation.

“Dear self, be not afraid of shutting doors and do not allow yourself to shove away fear; Please overcome your paralysis to move away from “the other’s” expectations of your future failure: Read as much as possible because education will push you through.”
-Ira Yarmolenko.

I see myself as someone who requires a source of inspiration. This source of inspiration is most likely a human being and this human being, I will strive to impress. In some way, I will try to become a shred of who they are. I will attempt to understand what makes him or her a great person and I will try to harness those qualities. I’d hope that I’d have the ability to use these qualities in a way that is unique to myself, but in a way that is still influential. This source of inspiration instantly becomes a very powerful and tenacious source of motivation.

The single most inspirational person that I have ever met, is my late friend, Ira. To say the least, Ira understood how to show true care and understanding for one’s emotions. She had an undying motivation to solve a person’s emotions like a puzzle. She was able to put any person’s problems in front of her own, which very often created even more problems for herself. The fact that she was able to do this, to  show complete selflessness, was incredible and in all honesty, it was a bit confusing to me. Before meeting Ira, I had never encountered an individual who would completely and readily disregard his or her own personal necessities, just to fully address another’s. Ever since meeting her, she has been a source of inspiration for me to become a better, more caring and less selfish person. In this case, it is no surprise that inspiration directly becomes a source of motivation. A source of motivation that does not fade. One that has a solid hold on my capabilities and is constantly pushing me to do what I will have otherwise only been wishing I had done.

It is necessary to have a source of inspiration and if that source of inspiration is a person, I feel that it is necessary to show that. For whatever the reason, many people seem to act as if they have nothing to learn, or as if they are above certain others and that therefore they have nothing to learn from them or any interaction with them. I firmly believe that one should continue to learn throughout his or her life and that there is no threshold through which one passes, which grants a full understanding. It is not a weakening act to learn from others. In all honesty, I feel that it is quite the contrary. To be able to learn from everyday situations is quite an admirable quality and admitting a previous misunderstanding is just so.

Silence is important.

Upon registering this new blog, I couldn’t quite think of something worthy of writing about in this first post. The presence of these words should be worth the reader’s time and therefore they should probably accumulate to something interesting. So I figured, since I just can’t think of something to write about, why not write about an absence of something -an absence of words.

“Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.”

Max Ehrmann knows how to write it.

It takes a time and place like finals week in Storrs to really make me appreciate silence. As much as I care about and need my close friends, I’m the type of person that needs time alone, to really think. I’m also not someone who can think easily in a hectic environment. There comes a point when I need to do absolutely nothing but think to myself, without speaking, for a few hours. Whether it comes during a long car ride, an early trip to bed on a weeknight (which rarely happens with all this architecture hubbub), or even with the presence of some quality music, maybe during a mind numbing task, it is all but necessary for me to get this mental silence, this mental absence from society. But, as significant as silence may be to one’s mental health, it seems to be just as significant to be socially present from day to day.

This all seems to be a matter of caring for one’s self, or caring for others. The thought of clamming up for an hour or so, just to feel a little more comfortable with one’s self, instead of openly approaching others in hopes of sparking an interesting and insightful conversation, seems to be a selfish act. I feel that approaching others often makes myself a more approachable person and therefore someone who can provide support to others when they need it. But if I spend all this time to myself, who am I helping other than myself? I see being easily approachable and openly talkative as great personal traits, but there’s a limit somewhere in there, isn’t there?

At times, it’s just as important to be the wallflower as it is to be heard. There’s a balance to be found on the topic of speaking and listening and whatever that balance may be, I’d like to use this blog as a tool to help me acheive it. I plan to use this as an escape from the everyday, or as a source of motivation to become more involved in the everyday. Because, after all, what’s silence without noise and what’s the break from the action without the action?